Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Um....I read what, now?

     I can't believe I read the whole thing!
     I sat down to read Gertrude Stein.  I had heard of her before but had never read any of her...um...writing?  I hope that I am not alone in this but am I missing something?  Do I have the wrong book?  Is it all a long series of typos?  Did someone eat too much alphabet soup and vomit on my book, close it, then put it back in my bookbag when I wasn't looking?  What happened to the rest of the words that might make this writing make sense?  I'll have to find my English to Gertrudesteinish dictionary.

WORDS
     Have a soup red soup.  Soup words in fancy book. 
     White pealed goat rat rat in a monkey's maze fishing fingers.  If finger pearl had it it was here it had to do in it.  Not a clue clue meant to give headache.
     Shut up moron okay I am done.
 
     See, I can do that crap too.  It is just as annoying when I do it.  The only difference is that you aren't forced to read mine.  How are we going to be graded on that?  I guess we can just pick random words in a multiple choice quiz:
 
Question 1
     ________ is dirt.
A.  yellow
B.  sixteen
3.  a small piece of fruitcake
D.  pork
Answer: 12
 
Question 2
     Fork, fork, I have a ________.
A.  Uncle Susan
B.  fork?!
C.  have a hole
16.  Newt Gingrich
Answer:  glue sniffer
 
Don't tell anyone that I gave away test answers.

3 comments:

  1. Hi Donald, A very entertaining post. Get ready to be enlightened on Tuesday! Have a great day.

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  2. Your post made me laugh out loud. I guess I'm not the only one who "didn't get it". But, I hesitate to judge a writer just by the little I've read. I need to investigate. She's is definitely on my list of authors to do research on.

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  3. I have just gotten around to reading some of our classes' blog postings and let me just say, this is one of the most logical AND funny posts I have seen. I mean, not only do you "analyze" Stein's work but you also provide your own fan-fiction written in the form of an inspirational author. This was definitely worth the read (your post, not her story).

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