Invisible Man

     I found Ralph Ellison's Invisible Man more than just a story about race.  Yes, the story (at least the section of the story that we read) is primarily about a group of wealthy, white jackasses making young black men fight each other and humiliate themselves for amusement.  However, the deeper part of the story is that no matter what is done to this young black man, he still craves the attention and respect from people who do not deserve his respect.  No matter how much they put him through, he still wants to impress them with his speech.  After all of the nonsense, he still tries to give his speech with blood running from his mouth and nose.
     I have brought this story up to my wife a time or two.  I know that she is going to have a fit if she reads this and I will spend some time in the doghouse, but oh well.  Throughout her life, her family has abused her.  I cannot even go into detail about the majority of it.  The constant abuse has been physical many times.  The majority of it has been psychological.  There is even some that I will simply categorize as "other".  All of this makes my blood boil every time that I think about it, so I try not to.  Ralph Ellison's Invisible Man brought some of it up again.  The reason is that, despite the years of abuse, she still desires their approval.  She puts on the blinders and tries to have a relationship with these abusive people because they are family.  They do not deserve her respect but she craves their approval.  Much like the older white men of the town in the story had control and power over the young men, they have control over her and her emotions.  These "respectable" men of the town used their power and control over these young men in order to abuse them.  I see so many similarities between Ellison's story and the crap that my wife chooses to endure from her parents.  The physical abuse is no longer an issue, thankfully, nor will that be an issue as long as I'm breathing.  I'm trying to get her to understand that it is her choice to eliminate the source of the psychological abuse.  It pains me to just have to sit back and hope that she comes to the same conclusion:  These people do not deserve her attention and respect.